Stop Signs - So Confusing!

OK, I'm gonna make this as simple as possible. It's called a stop sign. They're red and have 8 sides. They're not scary. They're pretty simple actually. Although St. Louis drivers seem to disagree. Here are the basics:

TWO CARS, ONE SIGN
If you come to a stop at the same time another car does, the car on the right has the right of way. Pretty simple. If you're across from the other party, you can actually proceed at the same time. Honestly. I'm not kidding. Now, if you're across from the other party, and one of you is turning, here's a little trick - the person going straight goes (wait for it) straight. The car turning can actually slowly proceed at the same time, and turn behind the other car as it passes. It's really not that scary. I try this every time, and the other car gets scared and freezes and just lets me proceed. I'd like to see an entire website and classes dedicated to teaching St. Louis drivers this concept.

FOUR CARS, ONE SIGN
I don't even have the energy to explain this, but it goes something like this: Two cars can go at once (seriously). But how, you ask? Simple, the two cars across from each other go at the same time, and when they're done, the other two cars can go. Yet somehow when four (or even three) cars get to the stop sign at the same time, everyone proceeds one at a time. I brought this up with a co-worker and she said, "But that's how you're supposed to do it, one at a time." No shit. She said this. This is what St. Louis teaches people.

To recap: stop signs aren't scary. Cars opposite from each other can go at the same time. You don't have to go one at a time. Car on the right has the right of way. Are we clear? Please stop staring at each other in the most confused manner every time you pull up to the stop sign. You're embarrassing yourself.

St. Louis (drivers), you are a joke.