The Lolita ATMs

How do you build a brand new, "state-of-the-art" stadium in this day and age and only have 6 ATMs in the entire joint? I don't get it. You're at a ballgame. Everything there costs money. Yet there are only 6 locations where you can actually obtain this money.

And I know what you're going to say: "Hey dummy, you can use your ATM card at the vendor stands." True, but the problem is I don't want to have to walk away from my seat and go out to the concourse to get a beer or hot dog or ice cream sandwich. The Beer Guy doesn't take an ATM card, he takes cash.

I was at the game on Saturday and had to walk past 17 sections to get to the nearest ATM. And because it's one of only three on the main concourse I had to wait in an abysmal line, watching people stumble and fumble their way through the ATM process. (Quick tangent: ATMs have been around forever. How do they still confuse and baffle people? Honestly, people take 2-3 minutes for something that should take no more than 60 seconds. And it's like that everywhere. It really amazes me. It's like if people took 90 seconds to dial a phone. It's not a new concept. Why are ATMs so hard for people to figure out? American citizens, you are a joke. Now back to our regularly scheduled rant.).

St. Louis, it's 2009. Everyone has debit cards. It's how people get money. You need money at a ballgame. And when you go to the game, you always run out of money because everything costs so much, so you need to go get more money.

So how do you only have 6 ATMs in the entire stadium?

I know why. It's because...

St. Louis, you are a joke.